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Murphy's Laws of Combat Actions
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• Prayer
always helps. Frequent prayer helps more.
• Friendly fire - isn't.
• Recoilless rifles - aren't.
• Suppressive fires - won't.
• You are not Superman; Marines
and fighter pilots take note.
• A sucking chest wound is
Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
• If it's stupid but it works, it
isn't stupid.
• Try to look unimportant; the
enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on
you.
• If at first you don't succeed,
call in an air strike.
• If you are forward of your
position, your artillery will fall short.
• Never share a foxhole with
anyone braver than yourself.
• Never forget that your weapon
was made by the lowest bidder.
• If your attack is going really
well, it's an ambush.
• The enemy diversion you're
ignoring is their main attack.
• The enemy invariably attacks on
two occasions: - When they're ready. - When you're not.
• No OPLAN ever survives initial
contact.
• There is no such thing as a
perfect plan.
• Five second fuses always burn
three seconds.
• There is no such thing as an
atheist in a foxhole.
• A retreating enemy is probably
just falling back and regrouping. - Or else they're trying
to suck you into a ambush.
• The important things are always
simple; the simple are always hard.
• The easy way is always mined.
• Teamwork is essential; it gives
the enemy other people to shoot at.
• Don't look conspicuous; it
draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for
aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.
• Never draw fire; it irritates
everyone around you.
• If you are short of everything
but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
• When you have secured the area,
make sure the enemy knows it too.
• Incoming fire has the right of
way.
• No combat ready unit has ever
passed inspection.
• No inspection ready unit has
ever passed combat.
• If the enemy is within range,
so are you.
• The only thing more accurate
than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
• Things which must be shipped
together as a set, aren't.
• Things that must work together,
can't be carried to the field that way.
• Radios will fail as soon as you
need fire support.
• Radar tends to fail at night
and in bad weather, and especially during both.
• Anything you do can get you
killed, including nothing.
• Make it too tough for the enemy
to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
• Tracers work both ways.
• If you take more than your fair
share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share
of objectives to take.
• When both sides are convinced
they're about to lose, they're both right.
• Professional soldiers are
predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
• Military Intelligence is a
contradiction.
• Fortify your front; you'll get
your rear shot up.
• Weather ain't neutral.
• If you can't remember, the
Claymore is pointed toward you.
• Air defense motto: shoot 'em
down; sort 'em out on the ground.
• 'Flies high, it dies; low and
slow, it'll go.
• The Cavalry doesn't always come
to the rescue.
• Napalm is an area support
weapon.
• Mines are equal opportunity
weapons.
• B-52s are the ultimate close
support weapon.
• Sniper's motto: reach out and
touch someone.
• The one item you need is always
in short supply.
• Interchangeable parts aren't.
• It's not the one with your name
on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern"
you've got to think about.
• When in doubt, empty your
magazine.
• The side with the simplest
uniforms wins.
• Combat will occur on the ground
between two adjoining maps.
• If the Platoon Sergeant can see
you, so can the enemy.
• Never stand when you can sit,
never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you
can sleep.
• The most dangerous thing in the
world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
• Everything always works in your
HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.
• The enemy never watches until
you make a mistake.
• One enemy soldier is never
enough, but two is entirely too many.
• A clean (and dry) set of BDU's
is a magnet for mud and rain.
• The worse the weather, the more
you are required to be out in it.
• Whenever you have plenty of
ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you
can't hit the broad side of a barn.
• The more a weapon costs, the
farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
• The complexity of a weapon is
inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
• Field experience is something
you don't get until just after you need it.
• No matter which way you have to
march, it’s always uphill.
• If enough data is collected, a
board of inquiry can prove anything.
• For every action, there is an
equal and opposite criticism.
• Air strikes always overshoot
the target, artillery always falls short.
• When reviewing the radio
frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important
ones are always illegible.
• Those who hesitate under fire
usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
• The tough part about being an
officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but
they know for certain what they don't want.
• To steal information from a
person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the
enemy is called gathering intelligence.
• The weapon that usually jams
when you need it the most is the M-60.
• The perfect officer for the job
will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by
someone else.
• When you have sufficient
supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack.
When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides
to attack that night.
• The newest and least
experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor.
• A Purple Heart just proves that
were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to
try it, and lucky enough to survive.
• The bursting radius of a hand
grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
• All-weather close air support
doesn't work in bad weather.
• The combat worth of a unit is
inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and
appearance.
• The crucial round is a dud.
• Every command which can be
misunderstood, will be.
• There is no such place as a
convenient foxhole.
• Don't ever be the first, don't
ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
• If your positions are firmly
set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he
will bypass you.
• If your ambush is properly set,
the enemy won't walk into it.
• If your flank march is going
well, the enemy expects you to outflank him.
• Density of fire increases
proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
• Odd objects attract fire -
never lurk behind one.
• The more stupid the leader is,
the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
• The self-importance of a
superior is inversely proportional to his position in the
hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).
• There is always a way, and it
usually doesn't work.
• Success occurs when no one is
looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
• The enemy never monitors your
radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured
channel.
• Whenever you drop your
equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always
fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at
your feet.
• As soon as you are served hot
chow in the field, it rains.
• Never tell the Platoon Sergeant
you have nothing to do.
• The seriousness of a wound (in
a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to
any form of cover.
• Walking point = sniper bait.
• Your bivouac for the night is
the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
• If only one solution can be
found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid
solution.
• No battle plan ever survives
contact with the enemy.
• The most dangerous thing in the
combat zone is an officer with a map.
• The problem with taking the
easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
• The buddy system is essential
to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot
at.
• If your advance is going well,
you are walking into an ambush.
• The quartermaster has only two
sizes, too large and too small.
• If you really need an officer
in a hurry, take a nap.
• The only time suppressive fire
works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
• There is nothing more
satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and
miss.
• Don't be conspicuous. In the
combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it
draws sergeants.
• Avoid loud noises, there are
few silent killers in a combat zone.
• Never rip-off a buddy; you'll
never know when he could save your life.
• A half filled canteens a beacon
for a full loaded enemy weapon.
• When in a fire fight, kill as
many as you can, the one you miss may not miss tomorrow.
• It is a physical impossibility
to carry too much ammo.
• If you survive an ambush,
something's wrong.
• If you can see the flashes from
the enemies' guns in battle, he can see yours too.
• Flashlights, lighters and
matches don't just illuminate the surrounding area; they
illuminate you too.
• Just because you have nearly
impenetrable body armor and a Kevlar helmet, doesn't mean
you don't have exposed areas.
• There are few times when the
enemy can't hear you: When he's dead, you're dead, or both.
Addendum: When he's not there, when you're not there, or
both.
• Never cover a dead body with
your own in hopes of looking like you're one of the
casualties. Even using his cadaver is a stretch to avoid
being shot "just in case."
• You're only better than your
enemy if you kill him first.
• Complain about the rations all
you want, but just remember; they could very well be your
last meal.
• Never underestimate the ability
of the brass to foul things up.
• You have two mortal enemies in
combat; the opposing side and your own rear services.
• You think the enemy has better
artillery support and the enemy thinks yours is better;
you're both right.
• Three things you will never see
in combat; hot chow, hot showers, and an uninterrupted
night's sleep.
• "Live" and "Hero" are mutually
exclusive terms.
• Don't be a hero
• Once you are in the fight it is
way too late to wonder if this is a good idea.
• NEVER get into a fight without
more ammunition that the other guy.
• Cover your Buddy, so he can be
around to cover for you.
• Decisions made by someone over
your head will seldom be in your best interest.
• Sometimes, being good and lucky
still is not enough.
• If the rear echelon troops are
really happy, the front line troops probably do not have
what they need.
• If you are wearing body armor
they will probably miss that part.
• Happiness is a belt fed weapon.
• Having all your body parts
intact and functioning at the end of the day beats the
alternative...
• If you are allergic to lead it
is best to avoid a war zone.
• Hot garrison chow is better
than hot C-rations which, in turn, are better than cold
C-rations, which are better than no food at all. All of
these, however, are preferable to cold rice balls even if
they do have little pieces of fish in them.
• A free fire zone has nothing to
do with economics.
• Medals are OK, but having your
body and all your friends in one piece at the end of the
day is better.
• Being shot hurts.
• Thousands of Veterans earned
medals for bravery every day. A few were even awarded.
• There is only one rule in war:
When you win, you get to make up the rules.
• C-4 can make a dull day fun.
• There is no such thing as a
fair fight -- only ones where you win or lose.
• If you win the battle you are
entitled to the spoils. If you lose you don't care.
• Nobody cares what you did
yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is
important is what you are doing -- NOW -- to solve our
problem.
• Always make sure someone has a
can opener.
• Flying is better than walking.
Walking is better than running. Running is better than
crawling. All of these, however, are better than extraction
by a Med-Evac even if it is, technically, a form of flying.
• Carrying any weapon that you
weren't issued (e.g, an AK) in combat is Not A Good Idea! A
combat vet will know the sound of an unfamiliar weapon in
an instant and will point and shoot. Not only that, AKs use
green tracers which mean "shoot 'em all and let God sort
them out". As has been noted, "Friendly fire isn't!"
• When the going gets tough, the
tough go cyclic.
• Military Intelligence is a
contradiction in terms. So is "Light Infantry"!
• Always keep one bullet in the
chamber when changing your magazine.
• If you can think clearly, know
exactly what's happening, and have total control of a
situation in combat, then you're not in combat.
• Stay away from officers in
combat, they're clever decoys for noncoms.
• If you think you don't need
something for your combat load for an OP PLAN, you'll
probably wish you had it after the shooting starts.
• Hope for the best, but prepare
for the worst.
• Failure of plan A will directly
affect your ability to carry out plan B.
• If you drop a soldier in the
middle of a desert with a rock, a hammer, and an anvil,
tell him not to touch any of it, and come back two hours
later, the anvil will be broken. "Because soldiers just
gotta mess with stuff". (quoted from an Army officer during
an interview in which the officer was asked why barrels
were thickened on the M-16A2).
• An escaping soldier can be used
again.
• If you think you'll die, don't
worry you won't.
• It is better to be lucky than
good in the battlefield.
• If you survive the
extraordinary things, it will often be the little things
that will kill you.
• If you give an order, then
change the order, you will get disorder.
• You never have fire support in
heavy firefight but you always have it on a silent recon
mission
• The only thing more dangerous
to you than the enemy, is your allies
Laws of War for Helicopters
• Helicopter tail rotors are
naturally drawn toward trees, stumps, rocks, etc. While it
may be possible to ward off this event some of the time, it
cannot, despite the best efforts of the crew, always be
prevented. It's just what they do.
• The engine RPM and the rotor
RPM must BOTH be kept in the GREEN. Failure to heed this
commandment can adversely affect the morale of the crew.
• The terms Protective Armor and
Helicopter are mutually exclusive.
• "Chicken Plates" are not
something you order in a restaurant.
• The BSR (Bang Stare Red) Law:
The louder the sudden bang in the helicopter, the quicker
your eyes will be drawn to the gauges. Corollary: The
longer you stare at the gauges the less time it takes them
to move from green to red.
• Loud, sudden noises in a
helicopter WILL get your undivided attention.
• The further you fly into the
mountains, the louder the strange engine noises become.
• It is a bad thing to run out of
airspeed, altitude and ideas all at the same time.
• Running out of pedal, fore or
aft cyclic, or collective are all bad ideas. Any
combination of these can be deadly.
• Helicopters have been described
as nothing more than 50,000 parts flying in close
formation. It is the mechanics responsibility to keep that
formation as tight as possible.
• It is mathematically impossible
for either hummingbirds, or helicopters to fly.
Fortunately, neither are aware of this.
• LZ's are always hot.
• There are 'old' pilots and
'bold' pilots, but there are no 'old, bold' pilots.
• The mark of a truly superior
pilot is the use of his superior judgment to avoid
situations requiring the use of his superior skill
• Ch-53's are living proof, that
if you strap enough engines to something it will fly.
Laws of War for Tanks
• The same gun tube that would
probably stay in alignment after lifting a car, will get
you beaten after calibration if used to assist in climbing
on the tank.
• Tanks draw fire. A lot of it.
It does not behoove the infantryman to hide behind one.
• If you're close enough to
actually hear an M1 series tank running, while in
combat, and not part of the crew, you're too close.
Law of Combat Aircraft
• The enemy is always has the
advantage.
• Heat-seeking missiles don't
know the difference between friend and foe.
• 'Armor' is a fantasy invented
by your C.O. to make you feel better.
• Afterburners aren't.
• Air Brakes don't.
• Your cannon will jam in combat,
and then when you get back to base there will be nothing
wrong with it.
• You may have the better plane,
but the enemy is the better pilot. (or vise versa)
• When getting spare parts for
your aircraft, you can get them CHEAP - FAST - IN GOOD
CONDITION, pick two. (This applies to everything)
• Your radar will not pick up the
enemy behind you or the one in the sun.
• If you have got into the sun
and are about to ambush the enemy, it will either be a trap
or you'll run out of fuel.